Signs He Will Never Come Back: How to Know When to Move On

June 17, 2022
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If you’re still trying to figure out if your ex will ever come back, you may be wondering if there are any signs he will never come back that you can identify with your current situation. While it may seem impossible to know what’s going on in his head, there are actually some pretty good indications that he won’t ever come back, so you can get a better idea of what to do next. Here are six signs he will never come back that you should pay attention to if you’re trying to move on from your past relationship and start fresh.

Don’t chase him

Although it’s tempting to chase after a guy who walks out on you, don’t do it. What you need is time and space. If he was into you, he wouldn’t have left in the first place—so trying to get him back is only going to hurt you. Instead of chasing after him, focus on yourself for a little while (chances are you’ll be a lot more fun when he comes around). Before long, some other attractive option will come along and make it clear that you didn’t need him anyway.

Be super happy

One of the easiest ways to tell if a man will come back is by monitoring your emotional responses. Are you consistently sad and crying? Do you feel as though he has ruined your life? If so, it’s unlikely that he will return. Instead, let go of your sadness and focus on what makes you happy. Think about all of the great things that make up your life beyond just one relationship and revel in those feelings. If a man wants to come back into your life, then he can’t stand seeing you unhappy; it’s too much for him to handle.

Don’t feel bad about moving on

People can be cruel. They’ll tell you that if you truly loved him, you’d wait around and give him another chance. But no one who truly cares about your well-being will ever encourage you to keep a relationship going that isn’t in your best interest. If you’re still holding out hope for a reconciliation, remind yourself of all his shortcomings and how he broke your heart—and remember, it was all his fault anyway! Then take comfort in knowing that someone else might come along who appreciates and respects you more than he did. You don’t have to be with him just because it feels better than being alone. Being alone has its perks!

Set boundaries

While it can be tough to accept, there’s a good chance your guy is never coming back. If you’re still holding out hope and doing everything right, think about why he left in the first place. In some cases, you may have done something wrong or gone too far with a boundary—set too many rules or been too cold or aggressive in letting him know that you aren’t willing to tolerate his bad behavior. Whatever your mistake was, remember that it can be fixed—or at least worked on—so that he knows you won’t take his actions anymore. Don’t give up on him until you’ve tried everything possible. He may surprise you one day and come back around when he realizes how much he misses your relationship.

Give yourself time to grieve

First, acknowledge that it’s okay to be sad. Whether you’re ready or not, time will move on. Sometimes it’s faster than we expect and sometimes slower; sometimes our grief follows a predictable path and other times we can’t figure out why we’re still sad (or angry). The important thing is that you give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling and experience your grief in your own way. If necessary, take time off from work so you can attend appointments or do things that will make you feel better (like exercise or reaching out to friends). The bottom line is that there is no correct amount of time for grieving but give yourself as much of it as you need—you deserve nothing less.

Take care of your heart

First, it’s critical that you practice self-care. Don’t let your ex-boyfriend take up all of your time and energy; you need to give some attention to yourself. Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise (even if it’s just a walk around your neighborhood), and spend time with friends who support you. That will help put things in perspective. Second, remind yourself that he is not irreplaceable—no one is! Also keep in mind that there are plenty of men out there who are worth spending time with, but it may be difficult for you to find one if you continue focusing on him and his behavior.

Don’t blame yourself for the breakup

Despite what movies and your ex’s mother may tell you, there is never just one reason a relationship ends. If you start telling yourself that it’s somehow your fault (and, especially, if you start telling him that) you run a big risk of making yourself miserable for no good reason. Blaming yourself for a breakup will lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy; when something’s clearly over, leave it alone and move on with your life. Bad breakups are painful and difficult even without adding guilt into the mix—don’t make them worse by being hard on yourself.

Give him space

While you may feel tempted to chase him down, know that it’s okay for him to be away from you. It doesn’t mean he has forgotten about you or anything like that—it just means he is in his own space right now. If you really love someone, you will always want them to be happy and if they aren’t happy being with you, then maybe it’s time for you both to move on. Don’t settle for less than what makes your heart soar and do not deny yourself happiness because of some guy who couldn’t decide what he wanted. If a person chooses another person over YOU, there is nothing more that can be done.

Time heals all wounds

Time can be a hard thing to predict. You don’t know when your ex will finally call, but you know that it will eventually happen. If you truly feel like he has moved on and is never coming back, time might be exactly what you need in order to move on as well. You won’t always have a crystal ball telling you when he is calling or how things are going with him and his new partner; you just have to give yourself enough time for feelings of love, anger and despair to subside before deciding if its really worth it for you two being apart.